Tuesday, December 30, 2008

New year message!!!!

Well, I read a blog today telling about +ve thinking. It says to see others problems and realize yours is so small. It made me remember an incident.

A few months before, I was a day scholar that time. I was going trough a bad time in my life. One day, I lost all my hopes, faith, dreams... On that day, I was going college by bus. I sat, cursing my own fate. I was resting my hands on the seat in front of me. In that seat there was a boy and his dad. Boy looked like of 15-17 year old.. After sometime, boy started pulling my hands and shouting something. His dad tried to stop him. Boy didn't. He was mentally ill and behaved like a small boy. Dad got angry and started shouting at him. This boy's mom was sitting in front of him. She turned back and looked at him, then to me with her wet eyes.

I couldn't look back. I felt guilty. There was so much pain in her eyes. They were telling me sorry, telling that she is helpless.. Boy's dad somehow freed my hands. I thought... comparing to that mom's, my sorrows are nothing.. And my problem are simple and small..

So.. Look others also.. Don't think only u r like this or like that.. And thank God and parents for all we've..Thanks for reading.

Friday, December 26, 2008

New year resolutions!!

My last year resolutions were these

1. I wont hurt anyone with my words or deeds:
Well, I wasn't 100% successful. But improved a 2000%.. And failure was very less...
2. I will be a good listener.
I always was.. Last year I listen to many.. Shared sorrows, happiness, helped to solve problems..
3. I'll apologize for every mistakes I did before:
Well, I apologized for most.. I feel more relaxed..
4. I wont hate anybody. I'll accept the people as they are, and try to love them..
This was the best resolution I've ever made.. Result was fantastic!
5. I'll study..
Well, This may be, was a big failure.. I didn't study much..
6. I'll help others:
Huhh.. I love to help.. No other thing gives such a satisfaction. I tried my best. I feel happy.

This year I'll repeat all the resolutions I discussed above. And I'll try to write more. This year I'll try these too..

1. Freakout alone.. [suggestion by Neha]
2. I'll become more selfish.. [Hey I'm in confusion here.. help me out]
Lal Arun told me "first and last love s self love love".
3. And about commitment? Both self and to others. Here I need your help too..
Disturbing friends after the college and interfering in their future plans? you think you should do it? Compelling them to stay with you??

Well help me.. Its still in process.. I'll update if I finds new ones. Thank you. Have fun. Enjoy.. :D

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Losing all grips

I can see the happiness is far away to meet in near days

I cant understand why god doing this to me

I see the things happening around me is not the ones I wanted

But god still draw rainbows in my floor by the light through windows

Making me confusing and confusing...

And I still say Merry Christmas and Happy new year!!!

Merry Christmas

Hey merry Christmas to all of you.. Wish you all a rocking Christmas day with lots of cakes and fun.. May Santa come and give you gifts...

Monday, December 22, 2008

Freaking state!!!!!

Here I am, Dying of f***ing boredom
Nothing to do?
No one in eye's range..
No sms, no miss calls.. Huhh no calls either..
I messaged everyone.. all the f***ing words I know..
Saw a couple of movies!
This f***ing guys smoke all time.. very tempting..
The movie said,
"There s enough assoles in the world. Don't be an another one"!
I looked at the mirror...
And showed my middle finger up ..
U ever felt this way?!!
Hey where s this Santa? U ever got any gifts?

Monday, December 15, 2008

When Love Marry Suicide!

It wasn't Love at first sight,
Kinda friendship as it started first.
We talked and we messaged.
For hours and till the balance die.

She told me, she misses me,
When I wasn't near her.
She told me, she loves me,
When I cared her much more.

Well, I was such a narrow minded,
To realize, that she s very broad minded!
I told her that I love her too,
She smiled but not replied.
She had other friends,
Like I've as my own friends.
But I was becoming very possessive,
I've heard its human nature.

I couldn't see I'm losing my friends.
My time, studies for her.
My friends told me don't trust a girl,
They told, girls are,
Most unreliable creatures on earth!
But I'd seen good ones in my life.
So I kept my ears closed.
But she, managed everything with her.
Proving again and again, that I'm just a fool.

And now, our course about to finish,
She told me, that she can't accept me.
She told me, that she got another boyfriend!!
I'd felt a sudden pause in my heart
I lost all my senses
I lost all my faith
I cried loud to hear someone
But all ears were busy
I never felt hungry anymore
I never found whats sound sleep
I found myself loosing..
When I look at the mirror,
"You are a loser", it shouted back.

I'd no options left in my life
I told her that I'll suicide.
"It doesn't matter to me", she replied!
I kept thinking, What to do?
Sun went and the moon came
Moon went and the birds sung
At last, I made up my mind.

I took my blades and poison.
I always feared when I used blades,
But this time, they seemed my only hope
I cut my vein and ate the poison.
Blood, gushed out as soothing words.
I could feel a little pain in my hand
But not as much when she hurt my heart.

Sight became blurred and blurred
But a sudden thought, stuck my mind
Will she be sad hearing this?!!
Will she cry seeing this?!!
I wanted to say, don't cry my baby..
Well, that was my Love, still in this moment.

Last I found what a sound sleep s like.
Dreaming a world different from this.
which will 've only me,
And a girl of my own...

[In the world of love cheating is just not acceptable]

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Archi Galz

Well this is about students in architecture in my college. They've got another dept. Its a bit far from the main depts. And most of them are girls. They live a strange life. At least to me! I always watch them. of course they are beautiful, still..

They always move as a group
With a small bags and a big roll of sheets
I wonder what s in those sheets

Most of them with colored hair
Looks like covered with dust and dirt
I wonder why still they color it

Always with high heeled shoes
And churidar with sidecuts to the hip line
I wonder they design it themselves

They always talk in english
About their dresses and the colored hair
I wonder why they don't speak of boys

At noon they got bus to hostel
They came in and return by bus
I wonder what kinda creatures they are

For the functions they came with bands and masks
Make sounds with a few boys they got
I wonder what they are trying to prove

All this things they repeat each day
I wonder how they live five years there

Haha what else to do.. gotta kill time na..

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Memories of a football match!

Hey you saw the film Lagaan right? Kinda story I'm gonna tell here. There s only difference in this story, That I'll tell ya in the end. Well, This is "Tintumon United". Our class team. Our class was tagged as the most bad one in the college history by teachers,HOD & principal [so u know, its the best one]. And inter college football matches announced. We'd only two people who know whats football [Muhammad and Vivek]. But we decided to participate[U got it na]. We learned how to pass the ball and whats it look like and all on the day b4 the match.

from the left Muhammad, Suresh, Vipin, Sanath, Vivek, Prashin, me, Shahees and Shafeeq.

The most awaited day came. It was then we heard the opposite team was the most fav among the players. We dreamed of a 5-0 loss. Anyway enjoy. Time went. Ball ran b/w our legs, hit our noses, we fell, rolled.. half time over. People wondered still 0-0. 60mnts, 75mnts we never reached their penalty box and ball was always in our half, 85mnts.. still 0-0.. Well, the time over..but the PT sir n all their side he gave more time to them, We tired and the last,.. last they scored two goals and we failed for 2-0.. This is the only difference from the Lagaan.

But who won? us na? Everyone congratulated us. In the end the other team became champions. They faced fear only once. That was with us. And we never played football there! The thing is most of girls in our class came to see the match with placards. No other teams had girls support. Thankz babez. And one more thing.. After that defeat no girl dared to come to see any match!!![U got it!]

Friday, December 5, 2008

Kinda Creative Work!!

If u rotate this picture 180 degree, U'll get the same image.. its my name Randeep.. An old work.. Inspired by "Angels and Demons" by Dawn Brown.

Hehe this is on Goa shore..

Monday, December 1, 2008

Thoughts De Young Lady

[Thoughts of a young Lady..]

As the sun goes up,
I feel more lonely.
Its bored as hell/ simply sitting here.

Whats next? I ask myself.
This answer is horrible silence/ always

I've no interest to do anything.
And when I found in some,
I cant hold it/ for any long

I can hear them, they talk about me.
My marriage, they want it done/ so fast
I'm so tensed, How my would be will like?

I feel relaxed when I get, someone to talk.
But I'm so scared of them too.
I don't know whom I cant trust or not,
I feel strange even to me myself.

The ones I kept close to me,
Always gave the pain, in the end.

Everyday I take my player;
And listen to music/ to feel relaxed.
It keeps away my weird thoughts,
And keeps away their talks about me too.
Sometimes they whisper in my ears
That, One day'll come and everything will be fine.

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