I was thinking about it all time. Or I terribly wanted it. A little sister. A tiny little one. I still remember the day Neha hugged me, When I was about to leave their house. She was very affectionate kid. Its Lamiya who made me think about it again, When I went to write supplies. She would come to my room, sit on me or anybody who is lying in the bed and start talking. She is very smart girl. When she is talking to u, she will hold your hand or put her hands around your neck. That kills me.
I have an elder sister. And I hate it. I don't think anybody will like elder sisters or brothers. Unless they are giving lots of money and all. They will scold you if you do any mistakes[Or whatever you do]. They will advice you when needed or not. They will never support you if you are doing any crazy things. Like bunking classes etc.
But younger ones are not like that. The tiny little ones. When mom scold you and you are sad or crying they will come to you, sit next to you on bed. They wont tell a thing. But all of a sudden they will hug you, put their arm around your waist. That kills me.
But there is no way to get one now. So I thought of a daughter. I have no plans to get married soon. Then how? I thought about adopting one. I can get really crazy sometimes. I always imagined it. Walking with her, telling all the names and stories about the things which comes our way. Going to park, Going to the beach and sit on that highest rock near the beach and telling her stories, parables [Once I told this idea to one of my friend. I was very excited telling all this. But she was just killing time. May be I share too much crazy things with girls.] etc.
What made me write this now is I just finished "The Catcher in The Rye" by J.D Salinger. In which the main character has described about his little sister. It really touched me. I like children very much. Yeah everybody do. I know its not a big deal. Well. I don't know how to tell you.
***
Its boring nowadays. I want to go back to Bangalore. Seeing me simply sitting here, mom sends me to all the marriages and receptions. I hate to go to any parties. The thing is I wasn't around home for last few years. So I don't know anybody and the people I knew changed alot in their physical appearance. People come to you and ask 'do you know me?' And we will give a smile back as an acknowledgement of recognition. But then they ask you to tell their name. Huh there it starts. Within hours you'll get complaints through your mom that her son don't remember these people.
Sometimes it makes you sad. Last week, I'd been to this party. And one girl jumped in front of me and called my nickname[Which, only my family members call me. A few friends also call that. But I don't like too many people call me that.] and asked me how are you n all. I was like - I knew her. But I couldn't remember her name or where I'd met this girl. She was smiling. But seeing my confused face she told her name and place we were together. Still I didn't get it. Her smile faded and she told she is in kinda hurry n all. It killed me. She was really happy and all and I couldn't even get those goddamn old memories from my old brain tapes. It really depressed me. So later I went to her and had a conversation. I think it made her a little happy. That's the end of it. I told mom I wont be going to any functions in near future.
Didn't I tell u? I disconnected my Internet connection. Now I have lots of time. I already finished two books in Jan. Now reading the third one. And the TV sucks as usual. India lost the match and there was this interesting debate in NDTV about reading. Some fear this paperback books are in danger. Nobody will be reading them in future. Everybody will buy an Amazon Kindle. What the ****. I hate this kinda debates. Nonsense. I don't think any gadget will give you the pleasure of reading a hard copy. May be some of you have different views. But I hate this Barka Dutt. I told you before. On the day of Ayodhya verdict. She is incarnation of Satan. We shouldn't use that s* word often. Because the more we use it the stronger he becomes. :P
Wish you all happy Republic Day. Peace.
Proven again, you are Psycho!
ReplyDeleteWhat are u gonna do adopting a lil child?!!
You cant even look after yourself :)
..and I dont think you remember, but Lamiya was just a 1yr old baby when we joined college!! and Lisan was 5 ! Febeesh's cousins.
@ Nibul
ReplyDeleteOnn Podo :P
Hmmm, should i start asking all is well? or has it bcme a devils wrkshop with all those free time..
ReplyDeleteby the way, even i had that feeling, wantd 2 hav n younger bro.. quite similar 2 ur case...bt my little cousin bro is making up !
Take Care!
But don't you think its a vicious circle if you had a younger sister, you would become the older sibling that you didn't want...
ReplyDeleteEveryone usually envies the youngest child because they get all the attention everything they do is new and wonderful compared to what the older child has done.
:(.. I am also somebody's elder sister....
ReplyDelete