Beautiful You!

I have a beautiful image of you,
Inside my eyes.
A reflection of you, which you can see,
When you stare deep inside my eyes.

Thats the perfect you.
Anything other than that is scary
The changed hair,
tanned skin,
the dresses I feel don't suit you.
Everything.

Its the feeling I get when I see the different you.
Different from my image.
The thought of you, losing your beauty,
Its horrible and I skip a heartbeat every time I see it.

So,
Stop blaming me and keep my beautiful view alive!

The reason behind her silence : 3

The silence we feel now,
Is just the product of our past.

The hurting words I say,
Is just the remains of the hurt you made in the past.

Even though I don't mind them anymore,
The words just shows how deeply I was hurt.

And your silence will not rub it off,
But your presence can forget the wounds.

Talk. Reply. Listen

We talk a lot.
For the sake of talking.

Oh! Maybe I was wrong.
We argue a lot.
Just to make sure "I" won.

We replied, replied and replied,
Until we tired of replying.
But we never listened.

When one of us said something,
First thing we check was whether it limits our freedom? Our rights.

Then the I in us jump and roar,
Thrash the statement and close the doors. Darkness everywhere.

Then we analyze, listen to.
Doors open again. Light comes in.

What we make of each other

In last one year I have invested my heart in you.
How well you took care of it?
How good it feels now?
How much it grew?
After all how happy it is now?

Suddenly I felt these questions coming back.
Fights, tears, silence.
I just skipped one heartbeat.

Fears

Will she finds out my fake identity?
Will she finds out I'm the opposite of her thoughts?
Will she finds out I do most of the things she hates?
Will she finds out I was cheating her?

Will she?
Will she has similar fears?

Sorry

My wishes were small
My needs were simple
My reasons were genuine

I begged you not to
I pleaded you to stop

They were just soap bubbles for you
And you enjoyed bursting them.

Later you said sorry,
When we ran out of bubbles.

Dear you [In case you have forgotten]

Dear you,

It’s raining here in Coimbatore. It’s very cold atmosphere here right now. Not very still it is. You know I can’t resist cold weather much. When I went to balcony to see the roads, you know I love those sexy black roads after the rain, I saw something which remind me of death or it came to my mind from somewhere, I’m not sure. Then the question came that what if I die? Next hour? tomorrow? Or next week? Then I want you to do something for me.

First of all, in my room, there are two diaries in my shelf written by me. You should burn them to ashes. I don’t want them to be read by anyone, including you. Then regarding my room. My room is a pretty neat one. When compared to yours or my old trafford room in cuba hostel. It’s not because I keep things very neat or I’m a well organized person. It’s just because I don’t have much things for me. Next important thing in my room are books. Well. I’m not yet reached any decision what to make of them. It is up to you. And the other things. You can see some small things here and there which you may mistake as waste or useless things. But they ain’t.

You know, I fell in love very fast and very often. I even love those little useless lifeless things. That’s why I didn’t throw them away. The truth is I couldn’t. And there are lots of useful things also. But, here, listen carefully. I don’t like them to be used by anyone else after me. They can keep it if they want but they are not supposed to use them.

Well, another thing is about the blog and net stuffs. I want you to put a notice for a few weeks that I’m no more. Only for a few weeks. Because there are a lot of people I love, really love, out here. I don’t want them to wait for a reply or to expect to say a ‘hi’. You know this is a place really made me happy. After that, I mean after a few weeks, you can delete all my accounts. You know, it may make somebody feel disturbed. Seeing dead me on net. You got it.

I don’t want you to pass any message to anyone. You know it ain’t worth it. Telling all those things after I’m gone. Anyways It doesn’t make sense to me. But if anybody mention you that any of my deeds made them sad, you should apologize them on behalf of me. But I don’t think you have to face a situation like that. Unless you listen to the mirror.

And there is one folder in my lap where I keep lots of text files written bla bla by me. You can read them if u like. This is one of my another problem. If I start writing to you, I’ll never stop. I don’t think it’s right thing here as we are talking about a real important matter. If I missed anything, you can do whatever u think is right.

In case, if  you are planning to ask, what if you die first,
FUCK YOU, you won’t, I know you are an immortal. Well let’s leave that topic here. OK. No questions permitted.

I thought to mail you all this at the first place. But then suddenly a thought passed through my mind as you may die before me if I mail. You know, I believe in such things. Superstitious things. And I follow whatever my mind says.

Then it occurred to me that what if I post this. It ended up posting this. I don’t want you to comment on this. Well I don’t mind if you do. But keep all these things in your dirty mind. ok. I know, now you get one more thing to make fun of me. But I’m fucking serious here. You got that.

Rain stopped now. I think I better go to bed. Night shifts sucks. Thank god, it was not that bright morning today. You know, after a night shift when you look straight, not straight to sun but forward, it will be so white that it will hurt your eyes. I hate it. So I walk back to my room looking downwards. Yesterday I escaped from two accidents. People drive carelessly these days. You know. That’s why I’m afraid to drive, what if I kill somebody, somebody who dreams a lot like me? And you have seen those old people, who can’t hear properly, walk properly, see properly. You have to be careful. They too have people waiting for them at their house. As we wait for our dear ones. But the one who drives only think of destination. That’s sad.

Well, I really don’t want to die. It was just a thought you know. Just wanted to say. How can I die, when I really am in love with life.

Well. Nothing else. Have fun! I know what is in your mind now.

Loving you.
Hugs