Sunday, January 9, 2011

Life - In Past, Present and Future

His mom was teaching him lessons about God.

Boy : So. We can ask anything to God? Will he give anything?
Mom : Yeah. He'll. If you deserve it.

Boy : We can't see him, we can't hear him. We can only give prayers?
Mom : Yeah. But we can feel him.

Boy : What if I want to write something to him?
Mom : You can write it and just burn it. He'll get it.

Boy : But.. Without address?
Mom : U don't need any address. He'll get it. Think of him when u burn it.

Boy : Huh! so we can send anyone letters like this? just thinking of them and burning it.
Mom : Yeah you can.

Boy : How many letters I can send?
Mom : As many as you want. Until u are grown up. God will read only children's letters.

He thought a lot of time what to ask. At last he sent a letter to God asking for Chocolates. And he believed that it was God who send him Chocolates with his uncle.

After Twenty years. Now he is grown up and God no more read his letters. He was calling her, messaging her. But he didn't get any answer. So he decided to write a letter. Even though he didn't have an address.

Are you there? alive? why not answering my calls? No reply for messages?

I was thinking about us. Our relationship. Which you call as friendship and I call as something else. I know you really don't want to answer my phones and messages. Last day I tried to figure out what really happened between us. We were never friends. I can see a colorful past long long ago but still we weren't. It started where it seemed to end. You had a little problem with you. You didn't have anybody to share it or help you. You were going through a real tough time in your life (or it seemed like that to me ), so tried to help you. Or at least tried to give you a company. Thought it'll keep you from crying and help you to take your decisions. What I did was a good thing, ain't it? I don't think you loved or liked me. I don't think you'll do either. I was kind of comforting thing for you. During your tough times. You told me your problems, I listened. You shared your likes and dislikes, I listened. I suggested some too. You didn't like some things I said. To be specific, some words. May be some sentences too.

But you wanted my company hence ignored them. Sometimes you changed the subject, sometimes you waited for me to change it. (Do you feel discomfort because I use the word "you" often? I'm sorry. I'm not blaming you or ending as you did everything.) I think I've seen almost all the phases you went through during this. I know you tried to hide a lot. But I could guess those. Because its not first time I'm doing it. Do you remember you used to call me and just cry? not even telling a hello. Now I see my calls are not answered. My messages are not replied.

I can see how happy you are now. Now you don't have any problems to share. That means you don't need me anymore. No no. Hold on. Just don't say I'm mad and go away. As you always do. What I told is right. You know it. I don't think you'll do it but I'm sure you thought about it. I can see how disturbed you are hearing about me. I don't believe in stick on to something without a cause. You can apply the same thing on me too. But you've to decide. I think its the right time. Right when one's jokes are crossing the limits.

Didn't I tell you? Everybody forget things very fast. The only thing people remember is how one behaved to them for the last time, Not the times before it. That's how the love which seemed to be eternal turns hate.

You know. I was like this. Always. It was your needs and situations created a good past and bad present in my life. Remember I'll be like this. In future too.


  1. Message is clearly conveyed . Good one!!

    So is this letter to your ex? :P :P

  2. @ Vijendra
    Yuck. Noo. Actually I was not satisfied with this. It was not finished. It's starting was much alike the last one. When I posted the last one, I saw the scheduler option. So thought to give it a try. Thats it. My plan was to remove it when published. But no net was there at my home. Anyway m not removin it.

  3. Good one buddy. where did u get all this. Bit adichath aano?? :p

  4. @ Hasif
    :P Njan bit adikkarilla. Pedi aanu. Ninak ath arinjoode. Ex-roomie.

  5. straight frm d heart..the words are crystal clear the message is lucid:)
    ya pen dint write dis!

    i jus gt back to bloggin:))

  6. i didn't understand why the boy-mom conversation was there in the beginning. but i guess it was a good way to start out the idea of writing letters, and then to write this letter.

    if you're saying you haven't gone through this yourself, i'm very very surprised... will talk about this more when u're back in bangalore.

    (cos i think i've already written more than what a blog-comment-etiquette permits)

  7. Roomie!
    I dont think she reads your blogs, but I hope some of 'your' 'mutual friends' reads this and will ask her to go through it.

    ..and im pretty sure she will not give a f**k to what youve written here. She'll just read it, and might say
    "Huh, I always knew he was a psycho"
    (Dont worry, we know what she was & is now , right? :) )

    Anyways, well written, but only if you had posted it about 3 or 4yrs ago it would have had an effect on her :D

    BTW, I know you are a Psycho!
    I wont tell anyone, dnt worry :P

  8. @ Pratheek
    Actually my plan was to write a letter type post. Its then this letter-to-god idea came to my mind. so I thought I can write it first and connect the letter part to it. As I told in earlier comments I didn't want to post it. So didn't try much to get that flow from conversation with mom and to letter. Yeah I'll come soon.its boring here.

  9. @ Nibul
    I have no idea about whom you are talking about. I didn't get that mutual friends part too. And I liked that F**K line. Experience counts. Is snow falling affecting your conscious?

  10. @ Divsi
    Nice to see you back here. Have fun. Will check whats new in urs.

  11. nice way to express what you feel :P


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