Tuesday, January 15, 2013


Why couldn't he discuss about this to us
his friends asked.

He tried to talk to you all this.
But when he called you, you were busy,
you seemed happy. You talked a lot about your company, friends and fun.
So he thought of not disturbing you.

Why couldn't he discuss with his parents
his relatives asked.

They were busy providing facilities.
They never cared how he felt.

Does he has girl friends? Somebody asked.

He thought about her, her and her.
He smiled. There were none.
Some where somebody skipped a heartbeat,
Thinking whether he will spell her name or not.

He had thought about all these.
All those questions they can ask.
He had answers. Perfect ones.
For all these questions.
But not for his problems.

He loved everyone.
Helped everyone.
He used to say,
"When you find happiness in helping others,
You will never stop doing it".

one day, he felt lonely,
as never before,
he couldn't bear it anymore.

He called everyone.
And listened to never-ending hello tunes.
He sent a lot of smilies, to everyone.
He believed smilies are the best thing artists ever created.
He cried loudly.
and felt like muted TV set.

Then he decided.

He didn't write any letters.
He found no point in it.
But he tried to recollect all the faces he loved,
earth felt his tears.

He went to kitchen,
searched for the blade.
But he wanted a never ending journey.
No come backs.
So he decided with rope.

He tied the rope to the fan which he always stared at.
Put the other end over his neck.
He felt like getting married.
He pushed the wooden stool.

Rope tightened, he saw many colors.
red-blue-green and finally white.
He felt like floating. in the air. above all.

Finally, may be he felt like being pulled to another womb.
But he believed in no God to prove it.

Last year I lost two friends. One was my +2 classmate. He committed suicide. Next week after his engagement. I still believe its my fault. I couldn't talk to him for months. If  I'd I could have changed his mind. I failed as a friend. And office boy in my office. He had heart attack. I wanted to meet him, talk to him. But I was too busy. I feel bad saying it. He left leaving my wishes unaccomplished. Please pray for them. If you don't mind. Thank you.


  1. I couldn't stop reading this post. Very sorry about your friends. They are in peace.

  2. Its scares if death lurks around me....

  3. Death of ppl scares me, specially the dear ones, i know the feeling as i had lost the 2 souls, my best friends! It hurts that u cant do anything, may they rest in piece..

  4. Just read your posts Randeep. Its so sad - this one.. If only they could have shared their feelings with someone!


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